Networking Not Working?

Allan Goldner

All you busy little networkers and networking Guru’s out there should prepare yourselves.  I’m going against the grain on this subject and offering my opinion.  It’s bound to ruffle some feathers and if you need to respond, just get your own column and write your opinion.

First of all, be warned.  If anyone catches me in an elevator and tries to give me their one minute elevator speech, it’ll be at their own peril.  Are you kidding me?  If a stranger confronts you and inside of a minute, offers his or her business mission, in a rehearsed, prepared speech, will you immediately decide that you absolutely must do business with them, or will you look for the nearest exit?  What are you trying to be, a TV commercial? Take your speed networking and speed dating and speed away from me.

In this one minute world we’ve created, must we reduce the most basic human needs for fellowship, intercourse, (conversational), and gregariousness, to some automated regurgitation of memorized catch phrases and fill in the blanks speeches? Sorry guys but that’s not networking. That’s an effort by opportunistic people trying to get rich by figuring out how all the new entrepreneurs out there, without any social or basic communication skills, might spend their hard earned money and buy into a guide to meeting business people.  Fellow entrepreneurs, if you’ve completed grade school and made a friend or two, I happy to inform you that you already have the skills needed to network. OK, some of you will be more adept then others. Some folks simply aren’t very sociable, and some, more than others. A smile and polite conversation will get more attention and better results. More on this in a minute…

Here’s lesson two: stop shoving your business cards and pamphlets and rack cards and key chains and Frisbees in my face. How many times have you attended a networking event, and observed people weaving and dodging through the room like some sort of Olympic obstacle course, trying to meet as many people as they can, giving them stuff, vomiting their elevator speech, and moving on to the next victim?  I find myself waiting for two of those folks to crash into each other. Stop and think and try to allow yourself to deprogram from the class you just paid for on how to network.  Not only are you wasting your money on all the crap you’re handing out, but you might have a heart attack. 

Personally, I don’t wish to meet and chat with anyone who’s in a hurry. I don’t need a keychain and I certainly do not have a need to collect everyone’s information in any format.  Your anxiety might be confused with desperation and nobody wants to do business with desperate people.  I realize you’re trying to maximize your exposure and meet as many new business people as possible.  But there is a better, more enjoyable way to network.

If you’ve ever had a chance to read Dale Carnegie*, he explains that a good way to network is to be a good listener and smile a lot. I know that a lot of us believe we need a guide or some kind of direction to brave the unknown.  If you’ve never been in a room with strangers, in some kind of business get-together, it can be a little intimidating. But trust me, networking is a social form.  Instead of trying to meet everyone for a minute or less, meet a couple of folks for a half hour or more.  Let them see what a nice person you are.  Ask them questions about what they do and allow them to do the same for you.  Have a drink or a coffee together.  Let them ask you for your business card. Afterwards, send them an email thanking them for their time and refer to some part of your conversation together. Generally, people will do business with people they like.  You might even make a friend.  If you’re serious about doing business, then you could use a few more friends and more solid business relationships. The ones made well and nourished will serve you and your business a lot better. 

Next time someone tries to tell you their elevator speech, tell them to wait for the next elevator.

* “Win Friends and Influence People”